Catch Your Crappy Self-Talk

Every week when I write my newsletter, I reflect back on my week of coaching and see if certain themes or challenges have come up for the women I've coached.

This week, our winner is... crappy self talk.

The good news is, if you think you're the only one who struggles with this, you absolutely aren't. Almost everyone I work with (myself included) is pretty hard on themselves in some way or another.

Sometimes negative self talk is super obvious. It can sound like, "Ugh, what is WRONG with me?! Why can't I just figure this out!?"

Other times, it's more subtle. You might even think you're not being hard on yourself, just honest. That kind of self talk can sound like. "I just need to suck it up. I know nothing bad will happen, I just need to do it!"

Sometimes self-criticism is disguised as a pep talk.

Imagine you're out for a hike and you come across a family with young kids on the trail.

They're coming up on a water crossing and the bridge is out.

The water isn't deep, but it's moving fast. The kids will probably be just fine crossing, but they're a little nervous about it. They've never done this before.

As you get closer, you overhear one of the parents saying "Come on, why do you always do this? You just need to suck it up. Nothing bad will happen, just do it!"

Can you imagine how that kid would feel?

That's how you feel when you talk to yourself like that.

I know it seems like we're all grown-ass, independent women, and we are, but our more primitive brains, the part of us that's driven to seek safety and comfort, is pretty child-like.

It's not trying to sabotage us as much as it's trying to keep us alive and safe.

That part of your brain is not trying to get you to sit on the couch, eating popcorn and watching Netflix because it wants to crush your dreams and ruin your life. It's truly just trying to keep you from facing the discomfort, and expending the energy it takes to live a fulfilling life.

You don't need to berate that part of you. In fact, doing so will only slow you down.

Recognize that voice. Allow it. Investigate it. Nurture it.